What happens when adoption fails…


We often hear success stories of the likes of Reverend Run and Justine Simmons or Lionel Richie and Brenda Harvey who have adopted children, Miley and Nicole respectively, but what’s the flip-side of tales like these? Who’s responsible when an adoption fails?

MSN’s Today Moms discusses how a failed adoption–known as a “disruption”–can impact parents, a family and especially the child; however, the reasons behind failed adoptions are seldom talked about.

While disruptions often occur within the time it takes for adoption to become final, which could range from a few months to a few years, it rarely occurs among adopted infants. When it comes to older children, however, the likeliness increases 5 to 20 percent due to life experiences and behaviors.

Sage, a 39-year-old stay at home mom describes how her 4-year-old adopted child’s behavior led her to have to give her up after just a year and a half. From spitting and name-calling to telling her 18-month-old ‘Your mommy doesn’t love you,’ and pushing her into walls, Sage found out that her adopted daughter suffered from reactive attachment disorder causing her to display aggressive characteristics and attention-seeking behavior. Sage, like others, realized that she could not provide the child with the environment and care she truly needed.

Zia Freeman, a Seattle-area counselor who’s been in the field for 20 years, says that adoption agencies do everything they can to keep a family together including classes and support groups at the first sign of any problems between the adopted child and her new family.

“The more research a parent does before adopting an older child, the better,” she says. “You’ve got to be open to educating yourself and being honest with yourself. Ask yourself, “Can I live with someone who doesn’t like me for a few weeks or months or years?’”

Read full article heremsn.com

Single Chick’s Burden


I intended this post to be a marriage or love focused post but the more I looked at YouTube clips of happy couples, the more I recalled friendly advice frequently said to me and my single friends. These quips are meant to uplift as we wait, search or hope for that special someone. But, the more we hear them, the more they only seem to irritate and incensed .

There’s no rhyme or reason to the list and very little supporting detail is provided. Some of the statements are meant to comfort while others are meant to confound.

The next wild comment I hear, I am going to “put paws on someone” – Lil Scrappy *giggle*

1. Stop looking.
2. Spend time loving yourself.
3. Trust me, if I were you I’d stay single (or some version of that)
4. What would your ex say about you?
5. Women who are single and over 35 are crazy. Are you?
6. There are no good men. (or some version of that)
7. Just have fun.
8. You are too picky.
9. You are too intense.
10. Your standards are too high.
11. Black men your age are dating white women.
12. Spend time in prayer.
13. Have you tried online, in church, friends setting you up (or some version of that)?
14. I know the perfect person. Will you date someone who isn’t … (fill in whatever isn’t your preference)?
15. Marriage is hard. Do you just want the wedding?
16. You don’t seem like someone who can’t be alone.
17. Visualize yourself getting married. Visualized your ideal mate (or some version of that).
18. Continue on with your life; travel, have children, he’ll come.
19. You think you want to be married, but you don’t.
20. Marriage is just a piece of paper created by the corrupt system to control us and keep us in bondage.

Rock and Roll Marathon Series Has Come to Town


I’ve been eagerly awaiting the arrival of the Rock and Roll tour’s stop in Chicago.  Yeah, this is the series that “Serious” runners love to hate. Many mention that it waters down the sport with couch potatoes posing as runners and it commercializes the marathon, running’s holy grail.  I could go on and on about why “Serious” runners hate this series but I won’t. That’s another blog topic for another time. At the risk of being labelled a “poser,” I have to say I love this series.  The energy and the carnival atmosphere combined with thousands of runners and walkers who come out to test their nettle or simply tick off an item on their bucket list is something to experience.  This series also holds a special place in my heart for another reason.  It was my first race.  As a new runner, not truly comfortable in the sport or certain that I should even call what I was doing running, this series made me feel welcomed.

As I headed to McCormick Place, I felt a tinge of excitement.  It felt like the bus took forever to get there. I can’t remember bever being this excited about packet pick up.  This year alone, I have completed six packet picket ups.  Some with big expos and some with no expo at all.  Usually, I pick up the packet and skip the expo. A decision I’ve made in the past which saves me time and money.  This time was different.  I decided to take in all that race weekend had to offer and this meant fully emerging myself in the expo experience.


After walking what felt like the length of two football fields,I finally reached the area where the expo was being held.  First stop, bib pickup.  I walked up to the lady with the wavier in hand and a smile on my face.  She mentioned my excited was clearly visible. And mentioned she too was excited her first 5k.  We chatted a bit and I rambled on about this being one of several races to date and  my hopes of  a PR before receiving instructions for my next stop.  I thanked her and moved on to the t-shirt station.  Since taking up racing, I’ve become a t-shirt snob.   I simply can’t abide cotton t-shirts.  Who needs another night shirt!  For me, it technical fabric or skip the shirt.  If it’s a woman’s shirt versus unisex, I’m a happy camper.  I was quite a bit nervous about the t-shirt offerings based on my previous experience with R-N-R t-shirts. My Rock and Roll Seattle shirt was a boxy,navy blue, unisex wonder that I use as a layering piece on cold training days or as a last resort training outfit when I’m behind on laundry duty.    Surprisingly enough, this year women and unisex t-shirts were offered.  A conscientious volunteer manning the t-shirt table took an extra step to notice a stain on a t-shirt and present me with a pristine, women’s tech t -shirt in white.   I can’t wait to “Rock” it.

After picking up my tee and bib, I headed to the swag bag table where I was met by another enthusiastic volunteer who assisted me with placing my items in the bag and wished me well on my race.  From there I made my way through the land of Brooks, another event sponsor offering everything a runner needs to leave the expo “suited and booted” as my sister would say.


I floated from  booth to booth sampling a variety of delights.  GU Chomps, Cliff Shotbloks,protein wafer bars, energy drinks and non dairy ice cream sandwiches, which were absolutely delish.  After taste testing and perusing the clothing booths, I decided to take in a lecture.  The distinguished list of running elite included Steve Jones, Khalid Khannouchi and John Bingham.  I took in an exciting discussion on the benefits of compression gear and learned valuable tips from legend and former marathon world record holder, Steve Jones.


All in all this was an exciting day and a perfect way to kick off my half-marathon weekend.


I Blame Sir-Mix-A-Lot

I was prepping two serious, heavy hitter entries for the next couple of days but, I keep seeing Vanity Wonder being discussed around the Blogosphere. Now, to be fair, I had to look up her name. But, her body I recalled vividly. (Straight From the A)



“Is that what’s hot in the street???” – Riley Freeman

Remember, when some men hated fake weaves, nails eyes, makeup…moving on.  I have always been unclear about men and their fascination with women’s body parts when they know they are fake *cue Alexander O’Neal*. I’m not talking about alleged, suspected, not quite sure but, you know they are fake and you still get excited. (Had an ex that use to argue about Jody Whatley’s hair…sigh) So, when men started being cool with women having fake boobs, I was like “what part of the game is this” – Riley Freeman. And, as the boobs got bigger, more “nature sag”, and saline versus silicone, guys started wanting women to get bigger breasts.  I was truly perplexed as what was going on in the game. But, this story isn’t about me.

 It’s about azz. And her ass is too damn big. But, men like it, right? She’s a stripper and this was to make her successful, right? Nikki Minaj is disproportioned for that same reason and men love it. Lola followed suit. Kim, poor Queen Bee thought it couldn’t hurt. But, do men find this attractive? It looks confusing to me but, these women are doing to please y’all, right?

So, she is on a book tour discussing the dangers of “butt shots” and warning ladies of leisure (are those prostitutes or strippers?) about being lured into injecting silicone at the risk of health and potentially amputation. SO, riddle me this, can it be removed? You can remove breast implants, weaves, contacts you get from the hair store. I know nothing about this mess. Can it be extracted from your tail? Will she be 89 with that donkey? Will her grandchildren bring her to ‘show and tell’ as the ‘show and tell’? This is worse than a neck tattoo.

VSB and Luvvie will have to answer this one.

I still blame Sir Mixalot.



While watching an episode of Rizzoli and Isles, I see the dad from The Strange Thing About the Johnsons. I know everyone has seen it but, it still shakes me. There are very few shorts that leave me as disturbed as this one did. I read details on the impetus for making it, and it was rooted in finding the most taboo topic and challenging art.

So, this is where my Southern Baptist raising rears its ugly head. There are just some things I do not play with. I don’t play with “spirits” (or Jesus, as my granny would say) and I really don’t go behind the curtain of certain topics. This is coming from a girl that believes Criminal Minds pushes the envelop a little too much. Anyway, I shared it with my mother. Yes, my mom. After she watched the short, I felt I had disrespected her in some way. Thats how taboo this topic truly is for people.

But, is it possible?

Strange About the Johnsons


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